Suicide or Solidarity

Content warnings: discussion of suicide, self-harm, grief, genocide

Don't set yourself on fire.

The act of self-immolation as a form of political protest has a long history, and in recent months, some people have committed suicide by fire in response to the genocide in Gaza. Every single one of these people deserves immense respect for their empathy, for their integrity, and their commitment to standing in solidarity with the people of Palestine. 

But I've been in a protest group where two young people set themselves on fire for the cause, and this kind of protest cannot be valorised. The romanticisation of self-sacrifice leads to nothing but grief. We must find a way to appreciate and acknowledge the sincerity of those who self-immolate for a political message, while strictly dissuading any further acts of suicide.

This is for a very simple reason: unnecessary violence cannot end unnecessary violence.

There are compelling arguments as to why violence, in many circumstances, is necessary - self-defence being the main one. The choice to take up arms against an invading army is indisputably reasonable. 

Suicide is, by definition, the opposite of self-defence.

It is also a noble, but ultimately ineffective, means of standing in solidarity with someone else. These acts gain large amounts of publicity due to their 'shock' factor (although, it should be stated that many acts of self-immolation go entirely unreported on, especially acts committed by those already marginalised in news coverage). But the problem with 'shock' is that it tends to increase feelings of nihilism, overwhelm, grief, guilt and anxiety - all of which have been proven time and time again to have a paralysing effect on activism.

When the two young people began their campaign of repeated non-fatal self-immolation, it ripped the climate group I was a member of apart. People were divided about whether to uncritically celebrate these actions as bravery, or give these young people emotional support. The fact that this was even considered debateable was a major driving factor in my eventually leaving the group.

Solidarity is only 'about sacrifice' insofar as you must sacrifice a certain degree of comfort in order to stand in empathic connection with other people's struggles. It is not about the sacrifice of your mental health. It is not about the sacrifice of your physical health.

Killing yourself ends the possibility of you ever standing in solidarity with anyone again.

In the words of Fred Hampton of the Black Panthers: "We don’t think you fight fire with fire best; we think you fight fire with water best. We’re going to fight racism not with racism, but we’re going to fight with solidarity."

You don't fight a regime of death with more death. You fight it by choosing to live, to value the lives of those who that regime deems disposable. This includes more than just the lives of Palestinians. It involves valuing, living, cherishing, and improving life itself, wherever it appears. Israel's genocidal occupation of Palestine draws strength from the world's paralysis - whether people shut their eyes to the reality out of grief, fear, guilt or any other feeling, adding further grief and despair to the story will not induce action.

We must embody an alternative. Sometimes, as empathic, sensitive people, it's easy to fall into the 'what does my suffering matter when compared to the suffering of Palestinians?' trap. It's a trap from which the only escape is to stop comparing. Immediately. The comparison leads to self-sacrifice, burnout from relentlessly going to protests without taking care of yourself, and despair. But the comparison is nonsensical - who cares how your suffering feels compared to other people's? Is it real? Then attend to it. Accept it, be present with it, and listen to what your pain is asking of you. If it's that you take a break, take a break. That you stop looking at the grim reality of genocide until you can balance your emotions, look away. These are not cop-outs. These are not abdications of responsibility.

It is everyone's responsibility to listen to their own needs. It is nobody's responsibility to prioritise the needs of others until their own are met.

We will not reach that liberated world if we cannot sustain ourselves on the way there. The unapologetically-living are the embodied alternatives to a regime of death. 

If this blog resonated with you at all, please don't share posts that valorise self-immolation. I respect the motivations of these activists, and deeply feel and relate to their despair, but this cannot be condoned as a valid means to end violence.

If you care about Palestine, please, continue to extend that care to yourself. The people of Palestine can't afford to lose you.